I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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