Me too!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
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I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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