woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
