Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
