Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize