well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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