we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize