I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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