The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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