my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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