I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize