We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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