Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Actions speak louder than pants.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
