what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
