i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
