youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
