you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What drink are we having for lunch?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
