just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
