ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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