Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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