he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
