Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
