Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
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Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just invented taco cereal.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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