So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
