You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
