where am i from again
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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