You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
