The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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