i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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