You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
