how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize