hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
