You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
