SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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