even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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