just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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