Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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