So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
