I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize