I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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