Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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