I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
