If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
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He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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