Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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