Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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