Sponge bath it is.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
