What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
