he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
