Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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