apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
