problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize