Having a random hookup so left but love u
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize