in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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