I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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