Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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