What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
