NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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