her facebook's as public as her vagina
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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