I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
