Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
